The Myth over "Parents can take care of 10 children but not the other way around!"

You must have heard it before, from your parents saying " I can take care 10 of you kids, but the 10 of you cannot take care of a single me!" I was baffled when I first heard this notion, when I was a kid - from my mom when she was angry, or irritated over something that me and my brothers had done, maybe against her wishes.  How can that be true, that the parents can take care of 10 children but the 10 children cannot take care of the parents? Although I never intent to argue this delicate point with my mom, I was pretty much sure that my mom was just saying that so that we, her children, always remember her for what she has done for us and in return, we would do the best we can to take care of her.   To me, this is just a myth..

However, just like everything in life, our capacity to grow and to be critical about something that we came across hit the nail in my head.  I have two beautiful kids, one boy and one girl, and they are truly the diamonds in my eyes.  Just the thoughts of something bad happen to them move me to tears.  I am forever grateful that God has blessed me with such gift, and I am sure for those parents who has children, these thoughts are universal.  You will do everything for your kids, up to the point that their needs are more important than that of your own, even up the point of sacrificing your life.  I am sure you have read the news about the parents going back into a burning house, just for the slight chance of saving their helpless kids or the incident where the parent going after their drowning kids, only to perish together with their loved ones.

With so much love and affection, it is with very little wonder that the parents can take care of 10 children.  In the older day where there is no TV nor the Internet, 10 kids are almost a norm.  I guess there is nothing much to do at night.  My father has 10 brothers and sisters, his father married quite young and during those time, with only living on government salary, managed to raise 10 kids.. So, 10 kids per family can be achieved.

BUT, the only caveat to this myth is this, when you have to raise those 10 kids, those kids started from infant(day 0) to the day that they have to move out (or kick out) from your house - searching for work.  That time period is perhaps the first 20+ years of the kids life, where they have to depend solely on their parents for everything under the sun, this is the period of total dependency, where the rule of the house is governed by the parents - it is either "my way, or the highway" type of stuff.  So the kids do not have any option but to abide to the rule, through thick or thin, waiting for the time to be set free.  But these are the period that the parents says "I can take care of 10 kids"..

Now, fast forward for another 10 years, if you may.  The kids are all grown up, find themselves good jobs, and some of them even wanted to start a family of their own.  They are basically now starting their own life, their own rules and their own plans.  Ask these folks whether their parents, the ones that have slaved themselves to bring these kids up in the world, are a part of their plans and most likely than not, very unfortunately, they will say - no.  They have big ideas, big dreams, they want to take over the world - and they wanted to do it their way.  This is then the part of "you 10 kids can never take care of your parents!" bit becomes a reality.  

The children are no longer living under the parents roof, no longer have to listen to the parents rules and no longer have to sweat it out. " I am an adult and I can make my own choices", and the parents have no jurisdiction over whatever the kids decided, for better or for worst, they can only pray that those decisions are made with more thoughts rather than with more emotions. This is the time that the parents may have to fend things for themselves, where they feel isolated, where they felt that their help is no longer needed.  For some, they may seek refuge in knowing that their grandsons or granddaughters are coming for a visit during the school holidays, as these new addition to the families allow the parents to reminisce about those times when they took care of their own kids.  I guess that is also the reason why grandparents are very protective of their grand kids, more then their own kids because those grandchildren will listen to them while their own kids will not!  

Such is the Circle of Life, and now I realize why one of the biggest things that you can do for your parents is to appreciate them as much as possible, while they still alive.  Go ahead, give your parents a call and tell them how much you love them.  I am sure later on, your kids will do the same for you.